“My husband and I are from different ethnic backgrounds, during the commemoration period there is no peace whatsoever at home. I don’t speak or grieve and it became difficult to know how to behave around him. When I’m in grief he insults me claiming that I’m pretending , there are times when he tells me to go with me fellow Tutsis and cry with them he always tells me that I should know we are not the only ones who are bereaved yet all we do is cry. Before I didn’t know how to handle his insults, he would insult me and I would fight back and he would end up beating me and my children. He would tell me to go back to my family which would make me extremely wounded because I knew I wasn’t accepted there either, they had already disowned me. I turned into an animal, nothing used to make me happy or sad, I tried my best not to think about my life at all because my family disowned me and I was not accepted by my husband and his family. I decided silence was the best medicine, when my husband would insult me I would just keep quiet, when he would spit on my face I would wipe my face and keep quiet. To some extent my silence saved me, my husband no longer beats me because he is afraid that I might end up killing him and for sure there are times when I felt like taking a machete and kill him, but then when I think of the consequences and my children the awful thought goes away. This space has motivated me because I have learnt how to behave around my husband and how to live in peace. I will try to find time when he is in a good mood to talk to him and I will try as much as possible to avoid arguing with him. I’m going to love my children and raise them well, despite being disowned by my family I will try to reach out to them”